There is still time to go see Candide!  Dudes, there is a musical number about syphillis!  Somebody’s NOSE falls off!  Half a butt gets eaten!  http://www.portlandopera.org/
PLUS for sticking through this all the way to the bottom, here is a sweet deal: get 50% off your ticket by using this link: bit.ly/rNf5pE and the password GLITTER .  Now you don’t have an excuse about not havin’ any CULTURE.